Looking for sarcastic Facebook status updates to show off your hidden talent? Guess what? You have landed safely!
You are bored and you have nothing to do. You decided to teach your Facebook friends how to be sarcastic. So you log in to your Facebook and started to write a status. This is not going to be a simple boring status but a sarcastic Facebook status filled with humor. Let’s checkout what that status could be
Difference between knowledge and wisdom. The former is knowing a tomato is a fruit and the latter is not putting it in a fruit salad.
People lie a lot. They say nothing is impossible. Guess what? I do nothing every day.
Try this super formula to reduce your weight. Turn your head to the right and then turn it to the left. Now Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
Want to know my resolution for 2018? I will keep my house clean. I mean spraying everything with febreze after drinking my beer.
They say always be true to yourself. Cool cz I only lie to others.
I don’t think all this time on Twitter “what the hell was that walking across the screen” has affected me at all.
Just discovered that the ‘idiot playing with superglue bond’ is stronger. Even stronger than the mother-daughter bond.
So basically the only way to keep your health is drink what you don’t like, to eat what you don’t want and do what you’d rather not. See! As simple af.
Finally feeling accepted by my bf’s mum with an invite to a family meal tonight. Bit nervous though. It’s been a while since I last waitresses.
My spouse coerced me join a bridge club. I jumped off the next day .
You know we should respect our mother. After all Laziness is the mother of all bad habits but ultimately she is a MOTHER.
I just do stupid things. Deep inside I am a smart person,
I eagerly joined people-per-hour over 3 months ago. They haven’t sent me a single person in all that time. Wtf?
I am relieved because of my mobile phone. It keeps telling me it’s unable to perform operations. Who would want it to start one on you when you are not expecting it.
Never leave on tomorrow, which u can do today and tomorrow is holiday.
Ordered pizza and called the ambulance. Pizza got to my house before the ambulance. Welcome to the modern society!
Just having a heart does not make you a human. You need to have emotions in that.
Follow these three steps to move on. Ctrl+Alt+Del. Control yourself, look for alternate solutions and delete the situations that hurt you.
How to find out if you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and realizing it was your air freshener.
The only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes is doing the moonwalk.
When someone with zero followers sends you a tweet with a link saying “you need to see this,” nothing happens when you click it right?
The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.” Sighs! Finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight.
Ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
No one remembers when you are right. No one forgets when you’re wrong. Stupid ‘No one’.
You might be getting older. I am just becoming a classic.